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dizzy dreamer 〆

Happy belated birthday ITIEL ! sorry no cake ah.

Monday, May 31, 2010, 10:08 PM

so yea, today went outing with itiel . suppose buy him soccer jersey. cannot find nice one. find wallet. also no nice one. so end up treat him sakae buffet. we went from suntec to marina then back to suntec. damn tired -.- . then dinner start 6.30-9 for buffet. so we 4.45 go arcade play. play silent hill, house of th dead4, th car racing thing then go do th kiap kiap thing. wanted take for valerie a stitch toy. then think think nvm. then i told di i only like bugs bunny and tom n jerry. very rarely see one. then got a pillow of bugs bunny! but...sadly didnt kiap till. haha was fun. nvm la. ohya th car thingy i SUPPOSE to be first until he suddenly come bump me, th car fly then 2nd . SIAN. lol lol. then ya went eat. eat till damn full. then take photos. then ya in mrt laugh like idiots lol. ya then we took circle line...then blabla. then go home le, next time go explore places to makan lol. im glad u enjoyed today!. i had fun eh DI ! :)

hopefully we'd enjoy ourselves and have fun during th chalet, hope i can go. hope everything's gonna be okay . and...hope to cya on wed!

& you just cant traaaaavel to dover ONCE. i haaaaave to go alllllllll th way to yishun agaaaaaaaaaain. siaaaaaaaaan laaaaaaaaaaaaa. haha

Labels: im so tired. falling sick soon.

Stressed, go high. High finish, its back to misery.

Thursday, May 27, 2010, 1:01 AM

i need you so much, dont you see it at all?
morning everything got so fucked up. i dunno wth i doing i just broke down and took my phone and dialled your number. you didnt pick up, i guess i forgot u had school. then u messaged me a "Wat." ouch. then hais. i forgot. we're jus friends. how th hell can i rely and need you th way i do still? i cant face you as a friend. im trying. im trying so damned hard. i dunno wtf i doing. im trying damn hard to forget you and get you out of my life, yet at th same time, my heart's forcing me to keep you inside. everything's going crazy. my projects and stuffs giving me a hard time. went to relax awhile i guess. i dunno wth happen i just got really high. thats what my friends said apparently,i just got really retarded. i kept laughing and smiling. my face turned red or smt. i dunno wth happen. dunno if thats th real me or what sia. but at least at that moment, th feeling kind of shiok. then went to skateboard. i wanna hurry get used to it, then can use it for relaxation more. wanna learn some stunts and get myself injured. friends say im turning masochistic , i dunno th spelling or wtv la. heck. is simply feeling better when i hurt myself, and feeling so cos i think i deserve feeling th pain. ah wtv. then ya went home, mum waited. hais. sorry. felt so rude to wrong person. should have been to my dad. aiya i duno la. in some way its weird, cos th whole timing although i was feeling pissed bout my dad's overprotectiveness and unreasonableness, i realised i was talking alot bout th happy moments i have with my family. its kinda weird, i guess i do love them alot though we quarrel alot. i just hope somehow, everything'd get better. i miss you.

Labels: we should just be friends.

you can make everything okay in one second, and in th next , you can break my heart into a billion pieces.

Thursday, May 20, 2010, 10:09 PM

i swear, i have no idea what to do for it to be th best for you already. today's been such a long day, and i did wrong things today. i felt happy hurting myself. i dont get you. why do you keep saying that i will find a better guy ?! i can probably like a million and one guys, but i'd only be happy being with you!. why ? why ? why ? why are you saying these!. if u're tired, i'd understand. just say. if u dont wanna continue, if u've found a better person ! im sorry for making this so miserable. im sorry. if being just friends is what you want, i cant do it ok? i cant change th way my heart feels. i dont know why , but th way you say all these, just makes me feel you just dont trust my feelings for you. why are you doing this ? why? why did we come to this! .

Labels: i just cant do it.

sugar rush, adrenaline rush.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 11:32 PM

crazy day sia. morning need chiong ADSmax design. finished , pass up, next in line in 2hours need prepare for OC re-presentation. fucked up. i lowest in class. chiong too fast. finished in below 2min. should be within 3-5min. wtf la. then scored a freakin 52/100 . sai sia. ya then finish..then go city hall find bin hl, there got marcus ngieng, davin and one more guy i dunno his name. then awhile go find juncheng. went to dempsey hill. reach there then i realised i went there before. ya. so ate smoked salmon pizza damn shiok. then got some sandwich. ohya we ate at ben&jerry's. ate a freakin 10bucks smallllllll icecream sia. damn small. she trick me, say got topping to put, end up fucking ate my 1.50 =.- th guys all tio scam also. th girls there damn hot. got one in blue shirt, hot shorts. chioest. lol. then ya finish went out . they smoked. i smoked 4puffs suddenly giddy awhile,bin took water for me,ty:}

then after that walk walk, then th guys keep talking to th parrots there lol. then after that..took bus. anyhow la. then ya heng got reach home. but considered 15min late also la. dunno. OHYA i forgot something major. bin and hanlong pierced th tongue. then they suay go poke today. then they eat till very jialat. bin keep "sss sss sss" cos alot saliva i guess. hl th tongue short , haha very funny. then bin eat till so man. although still pain la, then hl like eat tiny bites lol!. then..ya suddenly we talked bout markers again, haha . now all th guys there knows lol. -.- ya then after that...nothing liao. ya. th icecream super sweet, eat finish damn sleepy. sugar rush!!

i had somesort of a mental breakdown today, i suddenly miss us, alot alot.

Labels: and its getting harder and harder for you :/, somehow i feel u've given up

maybe, that's just how its always gonna be :)

Tuesday, May 18, 2010, 10:31 PM

lol, the hair is jac, th middle girl do one. LOL. th right side is adira , her hair shiok sia. ya then. this not main point lol. today i cab to yishun. jam at my area damn long. reach there i scared too late. end up met marcus at void deck somewhere haha. he on th way to sch alr. :) so ya we both chua tio la. then..ya i watch him eat. haha. then ya i "stalked" him to his ite. haha. took buses..and..althought is nothing much, that thing that happen in bus, made me happy haha . feel so relieved ? lol. ya then reach his sch, he go in i anyhow walk. wait at bus stop opp. he come out. haha. then ya awhile he go in. then i took bus go find bin liao. then th place very nice! lol. ya then go funan , then meet jc also. before jc come, we ate prata, so long never eat. i so hungry. lol . ya then.. pei bin go see hairstyling at kimage hairstyling school . cool sia. really nice place. haha. then..ya is super duper zuper expensive. if as hobby, is sibei costly la. but if as career , is okok th investment, i think hairstyling do as career is can one lo- dunno why parents just dont get it. hmm. ya. then met jc. go in harvey norman i think, then tio scolding cos spill till th honey aloevera i bought. wtf la. his fault lo . aiya then ya . wait bin finish his survey then we took cab go sp liao. then continue th critique, then ya jac tied th hair for me. then. ya went find bin awhile then i go back in. he say th hair nice haha. but for him, he tie two sides, then whole hair tie up, damn cool la haha.! then..ya continue school. then slacked too much. need rush through my 3DsMax. fk la. nv finish in time. tmr need chiong. then still got OC presentation. sian. but night time dunno how also. dunno go skateboarding, or go icecream with bin jc hl. sighs. wonder if marcus want come..hmm ya i go chiong my work liao.

Labels: i think we should meet up more often lol.

After so long, its still you . It has always been you.

Saturday, May 15, 2010, 8:04 PM

Marcus..

Labels: is it always going to be this way?